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Dating · head to head

HER vs Realm

HER logo

HER

Dating

The dating app for LGBTQ+ women and queer people

From
Free
Rated
-
Full reviewWebsite
Realm logo

Realm

Religion

Church management and engagement platform by Community

From
On request
Rated
-
Full reviewWebsite

The short version

  • Only HER has a free tier, so it costs nothing to try first.
  • Each has a real cost: HER facebook or Instagram account required for signup, which excludes closeted users or those with safety concerns; Realm realm is deprecated. MongoDB Realm documentation redirects to MongoDB Atlas pricing. No Realm-specific pricing published. Realm was MongoDB's mobile and edge database platform.
  • They diverge on capability: HER covers Profile Matching, Realm covers Member Directory.
  • Prices and features above were last checked on 1 September 2026.

Where they differ

Only the attributes on which HER and Realm actually diverge.

Attributes where HER and Realm differ
AttributeHERRealm
Starting priceFreeOn request
Pricing modelUnknownsubscription
Free tierYesNo
PlatformsiOS, AndroidWeb, IOS, Android
CategoryDatingReligion
Founded20132012

Identical on both: user rating (Not yet rated).

What each one covers

Drawn from each product's published feature list. An absence here means we hold no record of it - not that the product lacks it.

Only in HER

  • Profile Matching
  • Communities
  • Events
  • Feed
  • Filter by Sexuality
  • Video Chat
  • Instagram
  • Spotify

Only in Realm

  • Member Directory
  • Group Management
  • Online Giving
  • Communications
  • Payment Processing
  • Email Integration
  • Event Management
  • Mobile App

Both cover

  • Android support

What people use each for

The jobs each tool is most often brought in to do.

HER

No use cases recorded yet. See the HER review.

Realm

  • Member managementnot HER
  • Donation trackingnot HER
  • Event planningnot HER
  • Volunteer schedulingnot HER
  • Communicationnot HER

Where each one falls short

Documented limitations, not opinions. Every one is a constraint you would hit in normal use.

HER

  • Facebook or Instagram account required for signup, which excludes closeted users or those with safety concerns
  • No web version available; mobile-only platform on iOS and Android
  • Fake profiles and romance scams present on platform despite selfie verification
  • Limited user base outside major cities; geographic areas without Pride events may have single-digit user pools
  • Key features like Discover page and unlimited likes are behind paywall with 14-hour swiping limit unless paid

Realm

  • Realm is deprecated. MongoDB Realm documentation redirects to MongoDB Atlas pricing. No Realm-specific pricing published. Realm was MongoDB's mobile and edge database platform.

Pricing, plan by plan

HER

Free
  • FreeFree
    • Liking and matching
    • Messaging
    • Communities
  • Premium$14.99/month
    • Ad-free experience
    • See who is online in real-time
    • Additional search filters

Realm

On request
  • Essential$99/month
    • Basic features
    • Up to 500 members
  • Complete$299/month
    • All features
    • Unlimited members
    • Advanced analytics

Which should you pick?

Choose HER if

  • You need profile matching.
  • You want to start without paying.
  • You work on iOS, Android.
  • You also want communities.
HER review

Choose Realm if

  • You need member directory.
  • You work on Web, IOS, Android.
  • You also want group management.
Realm review

Questions people ask

Is HER or Realm better?
Neither clearly leads. HER starts at Free and Realm at On request, and user ratings are close enough to be indistinguishable. Choose on capability and platform support.
Which is cheaper, HER or Realm?
HER has a free tier; the other does not. Paid plans start at Free for HER and On request for Realm.
Does HER or Realm run on more platforms?
HER runs on iOS, Android. Realm runs on Web, IOS, Android.
Can I use HER for free?
Yes. HER has a free tier, so you can try it without paying. Realm starts at On request.
What can HER do that Realm cannot?
HER covers Profile Matching, Communities, Events, Feed. Realm covers Member Directory, Group Management, Online Giving, Communications. Both handle Android support.

Answered from the vendors’ own pages

HER: Are all HER features free to use?

Yes. All core features are completely free including liking, matching, messaging, joining communities, and viewing events. HER Premium ($14.99/month or $7.50/month annually) removes ads and adds filters.

Source
Realm: Is Realm still available?

Realm appears to be deprecated or consolidated into MongoDB's other offerings. Documentation pages redirect to MongoDB Atlas without specific Realm information.

Source
HER: What communities does HER offer?

HER features 30+ communities for queer women, lesbian, bi, nonbinary, trans, and gender nonconforming users. Users can add pronouns, pride pins, and gender identities to their profiles.

Source
Realm: What happened to Realm pricing?

Realm no longer has published pricing. The product was MongoDB's mobile and edge database platform but has been discontinued or merged into other MongoDB services.

Source
HER: What platforms does HER support?

HER is available on iOS (App Store) and Android (Google Play).

Source
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